


Murder, Sex And Self-Acceptance

by AlienTrash



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Aromantic, Aromantic Natasha Romanov, F/M, Gen, I Was Drunk When I Wrote This, Identity Issues, Internal Conflict, Non-Explicit Sex, the author uses big words and doesn't know what they mean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-11
Updated: 2019-06-11
Packaged: 2020-04-24 09:20:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19170340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlienTrash/pseuds/AlienTrash
Summary: She felt herself- perfect, complete and unmatched, stepping into backless dresses and diamond chokers, slipping into her role the same way someone more ordinary than her would slip out of bed in the morning. This was her territory now.





	Murder, Sex And Self-Acceptance

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! As an aromantic myself, had a lot of confusion growing up about why I didn't feel the way others felt, so this is partially to vent that and partially because I've seen a lot about platonic aromantic relationships and not a lot about sexual ones, which also play a big part in my life.

Natalia Romanoff had never wanted romance. She'd never craved it in the way she craved a normal childhood. Holding hands, going on dates, bashfully introducing yourself to your significant other's parents all seemed cheap and unnecessary- just another way for people to distract themselves from the carnage around them.

Natalia never had that luxury of distraction.

Anyway, she had herself to look after first and foremost and that was already hard enough.

The first time Natalia had sex she was sixteen, posing as a plain and power-hungry businessman's daughter. She wore low-cut dress after low-cut dress each one clinging to her in all the right places to make her feel unstoppable, in the hopes of attracting the attention of an enemy sleeper agent with information that could topple governments in the right hands.

He was attractive in the conventional sense with a jawline sharp enough to cut steel and green eyes that sparkled with ever-constant laughter and he'd yet to talk down to her or expect her to play dumb just because she was a woman.

They'd flirted and danced and then fucked in a spare room with sheets softer than anything Natalia had ever felt before, and then she'd slit his throat and left just calmly enough to avoid suspicion. By the time some poor maid had found the half mangled body, Natalia was halfway across the world, flying second class under the alias Susie Hilde and tracing the marks her victim had left on her thigh.

Sex was something she saw a purpose in- if not procreation then for the raw and untampered intimacy- a way to vent with no emotional strings attached, a memorable but unemotional type of pleasure and above all an easy way to get what you want.

She felt herself- perfect, complete and unmatched, stepping into the backless dresses and diamond chokers, slipping into her role the same way someone more ordinary than her would slip out of bed in the morning.

This was her territory now.

Still, she had no interest in anything romantic. She had yet to see a cute man (or woman) that she would be interested in taking out. It didn't sit right with her- the consept- and she was perfectly happy to pretend this broken part of her didn't terrify her. She continued to be good at what she did and kept her mind on other things.

She had tried, of course, at the few romantic relationships she had as Natasha; first with a soft-hearted blond that reminded her all to much of seducing her first mark (velvet and white wine and picking blood from under her nails for a week) and then with Bruce, but she couldn't bring herself to love in a way she wasn't designed to.

She knew that how she loved was as much a part of her as her red hair or broken childhood, that it was written into her genes, that it was how she felt and she'd just have to get over it, goddammit. That didn't make acceptance any easier.

  ~~~~ ~~Natalia~~ Natasha Romanoff was aromantic and that was fine by her.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it! If you spotted anything I should change, please let me know!  
> Kudos and comments are much appreciated


End file.
